Wednesday, August 25, 2010


I have been missing the physical touch from Luke. I just want to walk hand and hand with someone. I am always holding my daughters hand but it is so far from the same thing. Really really wish there was something i could do.

talk at last

I have been waiting patiently to get a chance to talk to a friend of mine and just never seemed like we got the time. Finally tonight on Facebook we got the chance. Every time we tried to talk at church someone would come up and butt in. It was getting so furstrating. But people cant butt in when your on a computer conversation. But anyways I finally got to pick this persons heart and see what they were needing prayer for. This person goes to a University so is exposed to some crazy stuff. They asked for me just to pray that they will continue to follow God even while people try to presue them other ways.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

putting away clothes

Tonight I was going through Abigails closet to pull out all her clothes that are too small and I pulled out a brown dress with pink and purple flower on it. It was the last dress that Luke bought for Abigail and it is way too small now. He bought it for her so she would have something nice but comfy for deputation. I broke down in tears just clinging to the dress. I cant get rid of it it means to much so i hung the dress on a hanger and hung it up on Abigails curtain rod.

The moon that smiles

The past few nights Abigail has really been wanting to see the moon. So I finally asked her about what was so specail about seeing the moon. She then told me that "daddy smiles to me" So I asked her what she was meaning by daddy smiles at her and she told me that daddy was in the moon smiling at her. It is so precious that she now has something to look at and remeber daddys smile.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

House searc

I have really began searching for a house for me and the kids. I have one that I have really been looking at. In fact no other house can compare to it. I would love to purchase it and move in so the kids and I can begin life again. I love my parents for all they have done these pase 10 1/2 months but I believe it is really time to move on. Get life going again. It cant be on pause for ever.

My Smile

When will it ever come back...I really hate looking at pictures of me and Luke becasue of my smile. I love how real my smile was and now its just so fake. A pretend smile to get me through each day. I want to be happy again. When will my smile return. A person can only fake it for so long.